Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
