just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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