I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
