i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
