Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
