He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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