I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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