At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
