Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she woke up with a sticky ear
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
