he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
don't judge my taste in strippers
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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