How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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