winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A bitchslap is in order.
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