Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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