My friends, they love my intelligence
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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