i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize