How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
