I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
