Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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