Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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