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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
