You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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