DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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