He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
