Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
