Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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