when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
