He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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