If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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