Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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