She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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