Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
