Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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