the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
