The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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