i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
