Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
