At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
