Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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