I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
