Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
