First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
