Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
