Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
