Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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