I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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