Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
