You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At least make sure they are 18
Why
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
