I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
