yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
