I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
