This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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