What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
