doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
