I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
