Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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