I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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