he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize