I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
