puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
