He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize