Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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