I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
