I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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